You are what you eat…and what you slather on!

I have spent most of my adult life telling women to eat real food.

Eat the egg. Put butter on your vegetables. Drink the broth. Buy the good meat. Wash the berries. Eat something that once grew in the earth rather than something manufactured in a factory and stamped with a health claim.

Especially when you're preparing to make a baby.

But here's the funny thing.

We will spend an extra $3 on organic strawberries because we don't want pesticide residue—and then get out of the shower and slather ourselves from forehead to ankle in products whose ingredient lists we have never actually read.

Body wash. Lotion. Serum. Deodorant. Foundation. Concealer. Mascara. Lipstick. Dry shampoo. Perfume.

And suddenly I want to know:

What's in all of that?

Because what goes on our bodies deserves some of the same attention as what goes into them.

Your skin isn't exactly your digestive system—but it isn't plastic wrap either

You'll sometimes hear the skin called our “largest digestive organ.” That's not technically true, and the physiology nerd in me can't let us get away with that one.

Our skin is an incredible barrier organ.

But it isn't an impenetrable raincoat.

Some substances applied to the skin can cross that barrier. We can also inhale ingredients from perfumes, sprays and powders and ingest tiny amounts of products that live on our lips and hands.

So when I'm working with someone who is preparing for pregnancy, I want to look at the whole picture.

Not only: What are you eating?

But also:

What are you bathing in? What are you rubbing into your skin every morning? What are you spraying into the air? What's on your lips six times a day?

This isn't about fear.

It's about cleaning house.

Pregnancy is a lovely time to simplify

I think preconception is one of the great invitations to take inventory.

You start opening cupboards.

You look under the sink.

You read the back of the shampoo bottle for perhaps the first time in your life.

And sometimes you think, What the hell is all of this?

There are ingredients in personal-care products that deserve our attention, including certain phthalates, a family of chemicals that has been studied for potential effects on reproductive and endocrine health.

There are parabens, preservatives used in many cosmetics and body products, some of which can have weak estrogen-like activity.

And then there's one of my least favorite mystery ingredients:

fragrance.

Fragrance can be a mixture of many different compounds tucked underneath one little word on the label.

That doesn't mean one spritz of perfume is going to derail your fertility.

It means that when I have the choice between knowing what's in something and not knowing what's in something, I'm generally going to choose knowing.

Especially when we're making babies.

Please don't throw away your entire makeup bag

I can already see someone standing in her bathroom clutching a $62 foundation she loves and wondering if I'm about to tell her to throw it away.

I'm not.

Use your common sense.

We're not trying to live in a hermetically sealed bubble. That's neither possible nor particularly healthy.

This is about reducing what we can reduce.

When the lotion runs out, buy a cleaner one.

When you need another lipstick, look it up first.

When you're replacing your shampoo, read the ingredients.

Maybe perfume becomes something you wear occasionally rather than something layered into your detergent, dryer sheets, shampoo, body wash, lotion and actual perfume.

Little by little, the bathroom changes.

That's generally how I prefer to do things anyway.

Start with what touches the most skin

If we're going to prioritize, start with the things you're swimming in.

Body lotion.

Body wash.

Facial moisturizer.

Foundation.

Sunscreen.

Deodorant.

Shampoo and conditioner.

Then look at the things you're breathing or eating little bits of all day—perfume, sprays, powders and lip products.

You don't have to become a cosmetic chemist. I certainly don't expect you to memorize 47 different preservative names.

There are databases like EWG Skin Deep that can help you investigate ingredients and compare products. I don't consider any rating system the final word on whether something is “good” or “bad,” but it's a useful place to begin.

A word about “natural”

This is where the herbalist in me needs to speak up.

Natural does not mean harmless.

I love herbs. I have spent decades working with plants. My kitchen and medicine cabinet have always had a fairly blurry boundary between them.

And precisely because I respect plants, I don't pretend they are inert.

Plants contain chemistry.

Essential oils contain chemistry.

Pregnancy changes the equation.

So I'm not interested in replacing a questionable conventional product with 14 essential oils simply because the bottle says natural.

Sometimes simpler really is better.

Olive oil.

Jojoba.

Rosewater.

Calendula.

Oats.

Honey.

A beautifully made tallow balm if that works for your skin.

We don't always need twenty ingredients to accomplish what three can do beautifully.

Raid the kitchen: simple skincare you can actually make

Some of my favorite body-care ingredients already live in the kitchen or herb cabinet.

There is something deliciously old-fashioned about this.

Women were tending skin long before Sephora existed.

Rose + Witch Hazel Toner

This is ridiculously simple.

Combine:

½ cup pure rosewater
¼ cup alcohol-free witch hazel

Pour into a clean glass bottle and refrigerate.

After washing your face, splash a little into your hands and press it gently into your skin or apply with a reusable cotton round.

If your skin tends to be dry or sensitive, use less witch hazel—or simply use beautiful rosewater all by itself.

That's it.

Your toner doesn't need a 23-ingredient list.

Calendula + Jojoba Face Oil

Calendula is one of those plants I never want to be without.

Fill a clean, completely dry glass jar about halfway with dried calendula flowers and cover generously with jojoba oil. Make sure the flowers remain beneath the oil.

Allow it to infuse for a few weeks in a cool, dark place, giving the jar a little shake whenever you remember.

Strain well.

Now you have a beautiful golden facial and body oil.

After washing your face, while the skin is still slightly damp, warm two or three drops between your palms and press them into your face and neck.

If you don't want to wait for an infusion, plain jojoba is wonderful too.

The Simplest Honey Mask

Raw honey.

That's the recipe.

Apply a thin layer to clean, damp skin. Leave it for about 10 minutes and rinse with warm water.

You can also grind plain organic oats into a fine powder and mix a teaspoon into the honey when your skin wants a little extra soothing.

Do not underestimate the medicine cabinet hiding in your pantry.

And what about homemade sunscreen?

Here's where I'm going to disappoint my fellow kitchen witches.

I don't make homemade SPF recommendations during pregnancy.

Yes, you will find recipes all over the internet involving coconut oil, raspberry seed oil, carrot seed oil, shea butter and zinc oxide with claims that they provide a particular SPF.

The problem is that we cannot know the actual SPF of something we've mixed at the kitchen counter.

With zinc oxide, especially, even distribution matters enormously. A sunscreen needs to be formulated and tested to know how much UV protection it actually provides.

So this is one place where I buy the damn sunscreen.

Look for a simple, broad-spectrum mineral sunscreen using zinc oxide, ideally fragrance-free, that you actually like enough to wear.

Then use your kitchen witchery for everything underneath it.

Your bathroom should begin to look a little more like your pantry

That's really my invitation.

If you're already buying beautiful food, filtering your water, taking your prenatal, making broth and thinking about the little person you hope will soon inhabit your body, take an afternoon and look at the bathroom too.

Turn the bottles around.

Read.

Get curious.

Replace things as they run out.

Maybe make a jar of calendula oil and put it beside your fancy serum.

You don't need to become afraid of chemicals.

Everything—including you—is made of chemicals.

You simply get to decide which ones you invite into your home and onto your body every single day.

Preparing for pregnancy has always been about more than getting a positive pregnancy test.

It's tending the soil before we plant the seed.

The food.

The minerals.

The sleep.

The nervous system.

The home.

The skin.

The whole little ecosystem that will hold this new life.

Eat the good food. Use the good olive oil. Grow the herbs. Read your labels. Keep it simple.

And if you occasionally wear the fabulous red lipstick?

Please do.

We're making babies.

We're not joining a convent.